tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77544712129078602892024-03-05T03:51:51.408-08:00* Kidstuff by Dr. BeckyAdvice, reflections, and humor around issues impacting our children, and for those of us who work with them, cherish them, and laugh with them. For early childhood teachers, caregivers, administrators, educators, parents, and anyone who invests in the care and education of young children.Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-44056853729391363432016-07-24T08:09:00.000-07:002016-07-24T13:00:13.730-07:00Kid Considerations: Children WILL Listen<style>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: "chalkboard"; font-size: 28.0pt;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Children WILL Listen</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Even
though my primary career over the last forty years has been working with young
children and college students, my other passion (both vocational and
avocational) is theatre. In between a Bachelor’s and a PhD focused on early
childhood, I worked in a MA in theatre. I am one those nerds who will break
into song from a musical with little provocation, much to the dismay and
occasional embarrassment of my daughter. One of my favorite musical theatre
composer/lyricists is Stephen Sondheim—my second favorite musical of his is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Into the Woods</i>, and my favorite song
from that musical is “Children Will Listen.” Here is an excerpt of the lyrics:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Careful the things you say,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">children will listen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Careful the things you do,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">children will see, and
learn.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Children may not obey, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">but children will listen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Children will look to you</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>for
which way to turn,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>to
learn what to be.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Careful before you say</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“listen
to me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Children will listen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Never
has this song seemed so profound to me as it has over the last few months, as
the lyrics weave together for me a legacy of racism, sexism, homophobia, and
general hatefulness toward those who are different than. This legacy characterized
my own childhood, and it persists today in our children’s worlds in an
enduringly painful way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A
friend of mine reported a deeply disturbing incident involving his adolescent
son that occurred not long ago. My friend is white, and the three siblings
adopted by him and his husband are African American. We live in a small college
town in southwest Ohio, surrounded by gentle hills, verdant farms, wonderful
and caring residents, and, unfortunately, no small amount of bigotry and
psychological violence being openly expressed to an increasing degree by young
people. At school one day, a white classmate, surrounded by friends, called his
son the “N” word. His hurt and anger flared, and he responded by pushing the
young girl. He was suspended. She wasn’t. His physical response was deemed more
transgressive than her psychological attack.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I
grew up in this area, in the mid-size city down the road from this little
college town, and I was aware during my adolescence in the late ‘60s and early
‘70s that there was an active KKK chapter in our city. Even though there were
no lynchings or beatings in our little Midwestern city by the time I was born, I
grew up in an atmosphere of openly hostile racism that was evident in many
segments of the community and the surrounding areas (including the petition
that some residents of our suburb circulated to keep a black family from moving
in). I heard the regular use of the “N” word from my father’s lodge brothers, from
some of our neighbors, and in popular media (where it was used occasionally in
movies, but found new life on television by the ‘70s, used mostly by black
actors in sitcoms like All in the Family, Sanford and Son, and The Jeffersons).
I never heard my parents say it, other than the bizarre explanation that Brazil
nuts had once been referred to by some people as “n….. toes,” which I now recognize
as one of the most profound examples of culturally sanctioned racism that has
ever existed. But I also never heard them correct or respond to others saying
it. The first and only time I said it was in the fourth grade, when I came home
singing a song I had learned that day from friends at school, which was a
variation on the theme song of a popular TV show. The lyrics my friends taught
me went like this (anyone over the age of forty five will probably know the
tune):</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">“Daniel Boone was a man.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.5pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Yes, a big man.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.5pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But the bear was much bigger,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.5pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">So he ran like a n….. up a tree.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
sure you can fill in the blank. I was eager to sing it for my father, thinking
he would find it funny, since it sounded like the kind of thing I heard his
friends joke about on a regular basis. But he didn’t think it was funny at all.
In fact, it was one of only three times in my life that I recall seeing him
really, really angry. He spoke more strongly to me than he ever had, saying, “I
don’t EVER want to hear you say that word again. EVER. Do you understand me?” I
was devastated. And confused.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">When
he saw how upset and baffled I was, I think he realized that the example he thought
he had set of never using hateful language couldn’t overshadow the damage done
by the things I was hearing around me on a daily basis outside our home. He
told me that, even though people we knew used that word, he didn’t want his
children growing up to hate other people who were different than us, or using
words that were meant to be hurtful. He gave me a brief history of racial
terminology in the U.S., and personalized it by explaining that, when he was
growing up, he was taught to use the word “colored,” but that now, the people
it referred to wanted to be called “Afro American” or “black.” But the part
that I most remember and took to heart from his explanation was that it didn’t
matter whether we understood why people wanted to be called a certain thing—it
only mattered that we respected everybody, and that meant respecting and
accepting how people wanted to refer to themselves to make sure that you never
hurt anyone’s feelings, either intentionally or by not knowing any better, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and we should always know better</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This
experience was the seed for my personal, ongoing efforts to “unlearn”
everything I had absorbed (and continued to encounter) regarding what we now
think of as the pervasiveness of institutionalized (or systemic) racism. This
work never stops, because, even though the overt expression of that pervasive
racism was somewhat publically sublimated or hidden on a cultural level after
the racial violence of the 1960s and ‘70s, and through legislation that not
only condemned discrimination, but also criminalized hate speech, the reality
is that it has never, ever gone away. It became more apparent after 9/11,
though with new targets, which included not only Muslims, but the expansion of
racist attitudes and actions towards Latino/a individuals beyond the American
southwest. It intensified after we elected our first African-American
president. And it is now reaching a fever pitch with the hate-filled rhetoric
that is being given by public figures. And it isn’t just about race—demeaning
language toward women, which peaked in the backlash to second wave feminism in
the ‘80s, and which took an especially virulent turn in the ‘90s with Rush
Limbaugh, is also coming back with a vengeance with Hillary Clinton’s
candidacy. In addition, homophobic language has remained fairly constant
throughout the last half century, but also seems to be experiencing an upsurge
in response to marriage equality.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This
resurgence of anger and hostility channeled into racist, sexist, and homophobic
speech and action is being given permission to show itself in the ugliest of
ways by public figures and through social media. And children are listening.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Anne
Lamott, a well known author, recently posted on her Facebook page a photo of
her grandson, with the following text: “</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This
is my grandchild. He turns seven today. Last night, watching the RNC, he said
that Trump will separate us, because Trump hates Mexicans, and Jax is Mexican.
I said, ‘Oh, no, baby. Never. Not on our watch.’” A friend of mine who has
family members who are Muslim explained that his nephew expressed an almost
identical fear, that he will be sent away, or that other family members won’t
be able to visit anymore because people want to send all the Muslims away. And
the recent postings on the Twitter feed of actress Leslie Jones became so
openly racist and violent in tone that Jones felt compelled to discontinue her
account.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My friend whose son was suspended from
school for responding to the hatefulness directed toward him said that his son
reported that he has heard more and more of this kind of speech from his
classmates over the last year. Whether or not those classmates are hearing that
kind of speech from family members, or are picking it up from the world around
them, the result is the same—they are feeling a greater sense of “permission”
to speak those words out loud, and to express that hatred toward those who are
different from them. This is the example that they are seeing from adults in
public, in private, and on social media.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And that brings me back to the rest of
the verse from that song I like so much:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Careful
the wish you make,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>wishes are children.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Careful
the path they take,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>wishes come true,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>not free.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Careful
the spell you cast,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>not just on children.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sometimes
the spell may last</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>past what you can see,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>and turn against you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Careful
the tale you tell,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>that is the spell.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Children
will listen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, how do you know what your children
are hearing, even as you are trying to teach them acceptance and kindness? How
do you know what types of speech and kinds of actions they are witnessing from
friends and on social media? How can you tell how they are incorporating what
they are seeing modeled around them? First of all, make sure that you are not
only modeling kindness, but reinforcing it when you see your children express
it, and naming it when you see others exemplify it; at the same time, don’t
hesitate to address hatefulness when it appears at any point in a child’s
environment. You don’t need to become a “helicopter parent,” constantly
hovering and micromanaging every aspect of their lives, but you do need to stay
informed, and pay attention. And that means, turn that lyric around:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Listen to children.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And if your child does transgress,
either with intentional hostility or through innocent ignorance (such as my
fourth grade song), then respond as my father did—including the angry part.
Children need to know that hateful speech justifies a strong response, but that
anger doesn’t justify violence. Follow through, as my father did, by calmly
explaining why it was wrong, and what the responsibility is for each of us to
know what we are saying before we say it. And in this current political
climate, it is also important to point out that, just because a child sees
something on television or reads something on social media, that doesn’t make
it okay. Because adults don’t always get it right, and some people are so
consumed by fear and hatred that they feel justified in lashing out toward
those who are the objects of their fear. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Children will listen to everything in
their world. We should be listening, too, to make sure our children are hearing
the messages that we intend for them to hear. What they hear, and what we say,
are all part of the “tale you tell.”</span></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-64560995877220168442015-06-19T11:18:00.000-07:002015-06-19T11:18:03.430-07:00Kid Considerations: Empathy
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It Begins With the Children</i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I
should be working on other things today. But, after another senseless shooting,
this one blatantly motivated by the toxic combination of racism, misplaced
masculinity, guns, and violence, I find that I cannot reconcile the dissonance
in my soul, and I am compelled to return again and again to this simple
question: what happened when this killer was a child?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The
complexity of racism, bigotry, hatred, and violence cannot be diluted to a
single cause, but I think we can examine critical points of development for
young children that have clearly failed to foster what I believe to be,
perhaps, the most crucial element in growing adults who turn away from that
racism, bigotry, hatred, and violence that has been so deeply embedded in our
culture for so long. That element is empathy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">For
the last couple of months, I have been working on creating a new training topic
for early childhood professionals: spirituality, morality, and ethics in the
daily lives of young children. Developmental psychology and educational theory
has, for a very long time, resisted or rejected the notion that very young
children are capable of the thought processes often deemed necessary for
purposeful and meaningful spiritual experiences, or for being able to think
morally and act ethically. Fortunately, there are a growing number of
educators, theorists, researchers, and parents who feel differently. As
explained by psychologist and professor Tobin Hart in his book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Secret Spiritual World of Children</i>
(2003):</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">“These researchers have generally concluded that
children do not and cannot have a spiritual life prior to the development of
formal reasoning, usually sometime in adolescence […] When we look a little
closer, we can find grand exceptions to Piaget’s model. Even young children
have shown a capacity for thoughtful consideration of big questions
(metaphysics), inquiring about proof and the source of knowledge
(epistemology), reasoning through problems (logic), and reflecting on their own
identity in the world.” </span></i><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">(Hart, pgs.4
& 92)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">As I have reflected on the individuals
gunned down in Charleston, and the young man who enacted this terrorism,
joining the growing ranks of young, most often white, and almost always male perpetrators
of mass shootings, I keep returning to my original question, and that answer:
empathy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">As young children develop as
social-emotional beings, it is important that we recognize and foster their
ability to connect with the feelings of others in active, prosocial ways.
Again, young children regularly demonstrate this capacity, but adults often
fail to recognize it as such:</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“More
recent research shows that toddlers between 18 and 22 months display empathy as
measured by orienting themselves to the sound of distress, visually checking
what is happening, showing emotional arousal (such as appropriate facial
expression), and engaging in prosocial activities such as helping, soothing, or
sharing”</span></i><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> (Ann S. Epstein (2009). <i>Me,
You, Us:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Social-Emotional Learning in
Preschool</i>. pg. 36).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Anyone who works with young
children has seen these impulses acted out in myriad small interactions on a
daily basis. But “seeing” them is not enough: we must acknowledge them,
reinforce them, model them, and build upon the potential embedded within them.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">We need to develop a better
understanding of the capacity that all children have to experience wonder; to
evaluate social interactions for moral and ethical value; to discover their
relationship to self, others, and the world; to be empathic, caring
individuals; and to grow as spiritual, moral, and ethical actors in their own
lives. Young children are not simply empty vessels waiting to be filled—they
are fully formed, yet constantly evolving members of a family, a classroom, a
community, a nation, and a world. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If, as
a culture, we continue to fail our children in fostering empathy and connecting
it with spirituality (which does not necessarily have to be rooted in a
specific religious doctrine or practice) that informs moral beliefs and ethical
actions, then we will continue to betray our better natures, and we will
continue to mourn the lives taken by those whose hearts and souls are empty. It
begins with the children.</span></div>
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Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-42763009837093056592014-12-30T14:21:00.002-08:002014-12-30T14:25:50.393-08:00New Year's Resolutions to Our Children<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-17524675226933033162014-11-13T12:54:00.003-08:002014-11-13T12:59:39.139-08:00Kid Considerations: Female Lego Scientists<style>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I Really Want to Like the Female
Lego</i></b>™ <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Scientists, But....</i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Before I go
any further, let me just make one thing clear—I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">LOVE</i> Legos! Even though they were available in this country by the
time I was born (and no, you don’t need to know exactly when that was...), they
hadn’t really “caught on” with wide distribution, so, in other words, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I never had any as a kid</i>. When I started
teaching (WAY back in the dark ages...1978, that is...), Lego was one of the
toys that fueled my second childhood. At that time, this was typical of the ads
that were in circulation: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">What a concept! A toy that was marketed EQUALLY to both boys and girls! A
toy that was ASSUMED to appeal to both boys and girls!!! A toy that was, for
all intents and purposes, the holy grail of toys sought after by enlightened
parents and educators—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the
gender-neutral-everybody-can-love-it-creative-and-educational-toy</i>!</span>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">My, my how times have changed....</span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As I have
watched Legos change over the last 36 years, it has been simultaneously
fascinating, disturbing, fun, and aggravating to see how the brand has changed
their marketing, meaning both advertising and packaging. Tracking this
progression provides an interesting insight into American (and western
European) cultural attitudes. The overt representation in Lego of both race and
gender, along with the more subtle cues regarding class and ability, has
evolved, and not always for the better. And, with every iteration, I find
myself increasingly ambivalent about the product, and about what it says about
the messages we convey to children about imagination and identity.</span>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Certainly,
the color coding has a lot to do with this. About twenty years ago, Lego saw
their market share dropping, and realized that fewer girls were playing with
them. So their response was to make pink and purple Legos. That didn’t work so
well. Girls still were staying away from them. By focusing on the colors, the
company seemed to overlook the fact that, perhaps, girls weren’t playing with
them <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">because almost all of their
advertising only showed boys playing with them</i>. In addition, their target
demographic had shifted away from young children, and their marketing and
product development was increasingly directed at adolescent boys, coinciding
with a product strategy that leaned heavily on tie-ins with movies that were
also directed at adolescent boys (and young men), such as Star Wars (few women),
Pirates of the Caribbean (one woman), Indiana Jones (one woman), Lord of the
Rings (two women), Harry Potter (few women), and comic books (a couple of
women). If girls don’t see themselves in these character-specific sets, why
would they be inclined to play with them?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And that’s
the biggest change of all—the characters and personalities (aka “minifigs”).
Until the late 1980s, most Lego minifigs had the basic, non-descript face:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqubT01MXP09C1qZ9vmcjQgYFHvYD2En1S2Q_xWy7pkkfc-asAmBWAtDRPGOz3ffvP28SMZ-d0Fpl5wrdI6Gh9xeMqgeNOV_qHPFydGC3c600tWGPRx490uvrDbJyGsCnkFfusRILjzxM/s1600/Legospaceclassicminifig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqubT01MXP09C1qZ9vmcjQgYFHvYD2En1S2Q_xWy7pkkfc-asAmBWAtDRPGOz3ffvP28SMZ-d0Fpl5wrdI6Gh9xeMqgeNOV_qHPFydGC3c600tWGPRx490uvrDbJyGsCnkFfusRILjzxM/s1600/Legospaceclassicminifig.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">With this
minimalist face, any child could, potentially, project any character, of any
gender, onto the figure (a little more about possible limitations on this in a
bit). But once the movie tie-ins began to appear, they were accompanied by the
“themed” sets (e.g., space, castle, pirates, city, ocean, polar, etc.), and
together, the minifigs took on more specific “character” attributes:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpsfJanNzruHSKmEjdsh8PI7w-utcOsgdnvcRoIdVLcDvdehD4Q48FxcD3bH3FFFMAQCdAsvH99ntCxFCGfTYjpNPccMJhU6DFwRrk5LWcsVTrlHKaHU_AImSFSUv1P0hYl1ZiRYPv_gQ/s1600/legopirate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpsfJanNzruHSKmEjdsh8PI7w-utcOsgdnvcRoIdVLcDvdehD4Q48FxcD3bH3FFFMAQCdAsvH99ntCxFCGfTYjpNPccMJhU6DFwRrk5LWcsVTrlHKaHU_AImSFSUv1P0hYl1ZiRYPv_gQ/s200/legopirate.jpg" width="187" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Of course,
as these specific characters appeared, they also made ones that were clearly
intended to be “female”:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBeb5nHXsQzpaZsJ7pJA5TzdmX7FLozFrB5aMVJZUoiyRIapTNqApDiMZDFJ1duOfWt9Axemg-T7TGYgXmIexpXKI382ll3rXV3dTgTJOMYxKgh_mKcWMe39T4sZKCtnGx0TTjUZ26EGE/s1600/storm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBeb5nHXsQzpaZsJ7pJA5TzdmX7FLozFrB5aMVJZUoiyRIapTNqApDiMZDFJ1duOfWt9Axemg-T7TGYgXmIexpXKI382ll3rXV3dTgTJOMYxKgh_mKcWMe39T4sZKCtnGx0TTjUZ26EGE/s200/storm.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj88SvZQNl8z4zU1aWVsIgIfV1wi4wtOdg0f41IC_4pEi3A8vTAXAaveRmQe0akGkGki6A3VRSXi1RAT2m-yySj60o1rp7FFv0rryG2evR4pJHxj5k1ukz2eRfp1x6BqTrmokmgVJOAFB0/s1600/LegoWyldstyleminifig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj88SvZQNl8z4zU1aWVsIgIfV1wi4wtOdg0f41IC_4pEi3A8vTAXAaveRmQe0akGkGki6A3VRSXi1RAT2m-yySj60o1rp7FFv0rryG2evR4pJHxj5k1ukz2eRfp1x6BqTrmokmgVJOAFB0/s200/LegoWyldstyleminifig.jpg" width="125" /> </a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8C6GSlnKRh2tm_ebWXT3EPWXqeyJOvHbAtqFN643Li5o1DyBYkFBKW-7nLnCsv1RSj99YZyIZmvQLTxci_G8DZPB4hwaCo9zlvhN99cia02BRTud0vIw5PbBeGOIDWZaxp5C7-W8r2X8/s1600/Legogirlminifig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8C6GSlnKRh2tm_ebWXT3EPWXqeyJOvHbAtqFN643Li5o1DyBYkFBKW-7nLnCsv1RSj99YZyIZmvQLTxci_G8DZPB4hwaCo9zlvhN99cia02BRTud0vIw5PbBeGOIDWZaxp5C7-W8r2X8/s200/Legogirlminifig.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> The gender
coding of these figures is pretty obvious. Male figures have facial hair and
often snarling expressions, while females have eyelashes, eye shadow, and
lipstick. And long hair. Because, apparently, this is how we teach our children
to identify gender—solely based on stereotypical, limited representations. And
there has always been far more “male” figures than “female” in these sets. And
it is certainly possible to change the hair that attaches to the top of the
heads, but children are pretty good at recognizing whether two attributes
“match” (so putting Wyldstyle’s streaked high pony tail on a figure with a
mustache doesn’t pass muster for many kids). This identification of gender
based on these two single attributes (hair and facial elements) is so embedded
in our culture that young children learn to default to it even when it doesn’t
reflect the reality in their immediate environment—for example, if you ask a
group of four year olds how you can tell if someone is a boy or girl, they will
almost always respond that, “boys have short hair and girls have long hair,”
even if they are looking right at a female teacher with short hair (I’ve even
heard this response spoken by a boy who, himself, had long hair, looking right
at me, with my very short hair). And if you give them a Lego head, unattached
to a body and without hair, they will also tell you, without hesitation, that a
face with eyelashes and red lips is a girl, while both faces with facial hair <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">as well as</i> faces with the non-descript
features are almost always identified as boy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And this is
a critical point in this discussion: when figures are not visually coded as
specifically female, children will almost unanimously assume them to be male.
In other words, in our culture, there is, in a practical sense, no longer such
a thing as a “generic” Lego figure, because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">maleness
is the default</i>. This was true of the culture years ago with the early Lego
figures as well, but there was much more room for children to explore and
ascribe other identities to the figures because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">girls were included in the equation</i> to a much greater degree. By
showing girls in the ads and the packaging on an equal footing with boys, their
participation was assumed, and so their representation in the “generic” figures
was an easier line to cross.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, in
response to concerns raised by girls (and parents and teachers) about lack of
representation, and hoping to boost their market share and increase sales, Lego
decided to include girls by making the figures more “girly.” They still didn’t
include them much in advertising of the mainline Lego themed sets and movie
tie-ins, though. When this strategy didn’t really work to increase sales to
girls, they decided to create a line specifically aimed at girls, not just with
pastel colored blocks, but with storylines and completely new figure styles.
I’m referring, of course, to the “Friends” line:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQjmovsC83rOpSjIjgD9PJ70BS6tObS2OzkAQK8YwqOgjjKUlYH7c4f723CI9ftYU7PNTec5Y8w9SBnvQ3cdOKbR1UyViOM-Ntv57TEB-PGTj62LKSXSMHHXpKWj1GRgSqL1nttlqZFW4/s1600/LegoFriendsminifig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQjmovsC83rOpSjIjgD9PJ70BS6tObS2OzkAQK8YwqOgjjKUlYH7c4f723CI9ftYU7PNTec5Y8w9SBnvQ3cdOKbR1UyViOM-Ntv57TEB-PGTj62LKSXSMHHXpKWj1GRgSqL1nttlqZFW4/s200/LegoFriendsminifig.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now, no one
would ever suggest that traditional Lego figures are in any way proportional or
anatomically representational, but that’s part of what gave them imaginative
potential. But the design of these new figures is troubling in that they are
attempting a more accurate physical form (shaped legs and feet; longer legs and
neck; arms more proportional to the body; suggestion of a bust; and a shaped
head with dimensional and detailed features), but are defining that form with proportional
choices that reflect problematic body image types: long legs, thin torso and arms,
and weirdly large head and eyes above a tiny button nose and thin-lipped mouth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And the age
range printed on the box (along with the breast bumps on the figures) speaks
volumes about who the target audience is here: girls between 6 and 12 years
old, who are at a particularly impressionable point in terms of body awareness
and social expectations. And who, not coincidentally, have more disposable
income in their own control than younger children.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Friends
figures are also accompanied by artistic renderings on the packaging that is
very different from all the other Lego lines: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNKof_iM_rtnCyGxJqT9yVludTG8aYvaySfL8k4ejeU3-IJvmPvzLYvT_v-2yx-uZvBaT7BBswq2fPWXbpLlX-phXuEZG8_RIpHpU_sHwnYPCMo5Lh_3cAjhMk3GfK5R7YgfL3-sZmebk/s1600/friendsjungle2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNKof_iM_rtnCyGxJqT9yVludTG8aYvaySfL8k4ejeU3-IJvmPvzLYvT_v-2yx-uZvBaT7BBswq2fPWXbpLlX-phXuEZG8_RIpHpU_sHwnYPCMo5Lh_3cAjhMk3GfK5R7YgfL3-sZmebk/s320/friendsjungle2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">These images
are not recreations of movie characters, but are extended interpretations of
the minifigs. The minifigs are still limited in body position and “attitude,”
but the packaging imbues these characters with plenty more. The jutting hip,
the tilted head, the arm position—all reflect the current cultural emphasis on
a specific type of heightened femininity that permeates a child’s world.</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Please
understand that I am not suggesting that there’s anything wrong with being a
“girly girl,” as long as that’s the person that you are. But I am suggesting
that this is one more way that we are limiting the expectations and
possibilities for girls to develop a sense of self that is dependent on their
own agency and personality, not on the overwhelming pressure of cultural
images.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And this, my
friends, is why I really want to love the “female scientists” that Lego
recently released, but find myself, once again, ambivalent about the execution.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm1UyKlEBkw8o3adUrY0qZI6dkQkOG9qKzTUCmQmNt96KlYgiD-J3tp6e6fipOegz3kpH4EN-CYyZV_P0tLEUotmbqx5FHVlBQsKFKxB7Tjv6rJLIS6s5mUviH5vStZkb8E3rHe73HpW8/s1600/Legogirlscienceminifig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm1UyKlEBkw8o3adUrY0qZI6dkQkOG9qKzTUCmQmNt96KlYgiD-J3tp6e6fipOegz3kpH4EN-CYyZV_P0tLEUotmbqx5FHVlBQsKFKxB7Tjv6rJLIS6s5mUviH5vStZkb8E3rHe73HpW8/s200/Legogirlscienceminifig.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Look at
that! She doesn’t have long hair! Well, it’s not exactly short, either, but
okay. But she still has those lipstick lips and those mascara eyes. And, just
to make sure we know she’s smart, being a scientist and all, she gets glasses,
too. Or, if chemistry isn’t your thing, you might want to be an
astronomer/astrophysicist:</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTbnGID_Cz7woHpwLek-S2fxfvNN6mXZmL3tcKhDToM_YX3XzOgA35p5BWsGl5q9vpFN9aHtVNSH2QSnWBRzmcYEVvnebhMOxwnhMXCJ9KvJAc_wq5KNqppgoBld9Hvluvs6cZUp6qIrM/s1600/legoastronomer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTbnGID_Cz7woHpwLek-S2fxfvNN6mXZmL3tcKhDToM_YX3XzOgA35p5BWsGl5q9vpFN9aHtVNSH2QSnWBRzmcYEVvnebhMOxwnhMXCJ9KvJAc_wq5KNqppgoBld9Hvluvs6cZUp6qIrM/s200/legoastronomer.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Whew! I was
worried there for a minute that female scientists couldn’t have long hair! At
least she has it safely bunned up on top of her head. And, just in case you don’t
catch the clues from the eyes and mouth, this one has a jaunty, fashionable,
pink scarf.</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I know, I
know, many of you are shaking your head and suggesting that I am over thinking
it (that happens to me a lot), and pointing out that these new science figures
are selling like hotcakes (which they are, apparently, so much so that they’re
getting hard to find), so just stop being critical and accept that girls like
them because now they can imagine themselves as more than Friends or
accessories. (And I haven’t even brought up the whole “race, class, and ability”
thing, which would require another complete post. Maybe another time.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’d love to
not have to think about it so much. But I can’t. Not completely. Of course
there are benefits to this (did I mention my ambivalence?), but I still just
can’t get past those faces, and I still am uneasy about the cultural imagery
that is being perpetuated here. I just can’t help but think that girls are
smart enough, and imaginative enough, to be able to see themselves in a toy by
adding them to the marketing, and that every child’s gender development process
could be enhanced by more open-ended choices. In other words, offer the amazing
array of “outfits” and “hair” possibilities, but keep the faces neutral. No
mascara, no lip stick, no beards or mustaches, no snarling expressions—just dots
for eyes, the suggestion of eyebrows, and a simple smile. Kids will fill in the
rest.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> (copyright note: some of the images above are taken from internet sources; others are photographs taken by me of products on store shelves)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-85523586392061125682014-09-26T15:02:00.001-07:002014-09-26T15:05:34.861-07:00Kid Policy: Scapegoating the Common Core<style>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Policy: </span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Scapegoating the Common Core</i></b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A
Facebook friend of mine, who regularly (and, in my opinion, justifiably)
expresses her frustration with the amount of homework her first grader has to
confront, recently expressed another frustration: the math worksheet her
daughter had for homework was not well-designed, and its intent was difficult
to decipher. Specifically, there was a word problem that didn’t seem to be
clear regarding whether the purpose was to construct a subtraction problem, an
addition problem, or identify a place value relationship. Her Facebook post was
asking for help figuring out what was expected.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It
didn’t take many comments before someone growled about the “Common Core” and
how it’s ruining education. Several others chimed in on this train of thought.
I have witnessed this response many times in the last few years, as parents and
educators cope with their dissatisfaction with mountains of homework,
struggling teachers, disconnected administrators, and rigid standardized
testing expectations. Inevitably, these concerns generally wind up focused on
the Common Core as the enemy. The problem, however, is that the Common Core
isn’t the problem.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">These
indictments of the Common Core (technically, they are officially called the
“Common Core <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">State Standards</i>,” since
they were developed by representatives from the National Governors Association
Center for Best Practices (NGA Center) and the Council of Chief State School
Officers (CCSSO)) are often misguided and misinformed, and are grounded in the
belief that the federal government is, once again, interfering in our lives, telling
us what to do, and supporting private (often “charter”) schools at the expense
of public schools. This viewpoint is encouraged by journalists and pundits from
both sides of the aisle who perpetuate the notion that the Common Core creates
unrealistic and burdensome expectations on students, especially young students.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Here’s
the thing, though—if you actually take the time to read any of the Common Core
standards, you will notice four specific things that seem to get lost in this
conversation: </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> The Common Core <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is
not a curriculum</i></b>. There are some model curricula that have been
developed to provide examples of ways to implement some of the standards, but
these are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">models</i> only. There is no
requirement that any state, district, school, or individual teacher use the
model.</span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The Common Core <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">does
not specify HOW to teach</i></b> any specific standard. See the first point
above. The Core does not, can not, and will never dictate what type of
philosophy or pedagogical approach districts or teachers have to use.</span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The Common Core <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">has
nothing to do with how much homework your child is assigned</i></b>. See the
previous two points above. The development and implementation of curriculum,
homework, testing, and even recess, is determined by the state, the district,
the school administrators, and (increasingly rarely), individual teachers.</span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The Common Core <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is
not required to be adopted by individual states</i></b> unless the state is
seeking to supersede (or circumvent) the requirements of No Child Left Behind.
The Core Standards were originally conceived of, and developed by, individual
states wishing to either raise the standards above what was set by NCLB, or to
be granted a waiver from NCLB.</span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Again,
the Common Core isn’t the bogey man—it is a set of research-based <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">standards</i></b>
that simply attempts to organize basic skills and content into a practical
sequence that is intended to align and clarify the patchwork of quality
standards that has historically varied widely from state to state (follow <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/common-core-raise-bar-scores-drop-article-1.1314557" target="_blank">this link</a> for a brief, reasoned explanation of the process, or <a href="http://www.corestandards.org/about-the-standards/myths-vs-facts/" target="_blank">this link</a> to go to read about “myths versus facts”). There is certainly a
compelling discussion to be had regarding the politics, adoption, and
implementation of the Common Core by individual states, and the affect that
this process has had on teachers, students, and families, but unless we make
ourselves familiar with the actual content of the Common Core documents, it is
difficult to elevate such a discussion beyond rancorous politics and
inflammatory rhetoric.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">So,
who should we direct our anger at when a seven-year old child routinely comes
home with 2 hours’ worth of poorly designed worksheets? First of all, yelling
at the teacher won’t help. Many teachers are as frustrated as parents with
current trends in classroom practice and curriculum development, which often
dictates rigidly scheduled instruction and intense pressure to standardize
teaching along with content/skill standards for children. It is also pointless
to rail at the federal government—the Common Core is not mandated or
administered by the federal government, though its implementation is, in some
cases, tied to federal guidelines.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I
think our anger needs to be directed at what lies at the heart of the
disempowerment of teachers, the pressure on districts and administrators to
prove their efficacy based on test results, the disregard for family
interactions, and the objectification of children as raw material—and that is
the corporatization (and monopolization) of education. To point to the most
compelling and far-reaching example of this trend: It is no coincidence that the
dominant corporation that is working toward a near monopoly throughout the
pre-K through college schooling experience, Pearson Education, has convinced
states to adopt their assessment tools; has lobbied districts and private
schools to purchase their scripted curriculum packages to teach to those tests;
has acquired several publishing divisions to develop and sell those packages
(such as Scott Foresman, Penguin, Puffin Prentice Hall, Addison Wesley, and
Silver Burdett); has reached into all facets of teacher education and
preparation to produce teachers who will be proficient at using only their
materials; and has sponsored and conducted much of the (little bit of) research
that has been done on the effectiveness of those materials. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It
is also important to understand that Pearson was not historically even
interested in education until the 1980s, suggesting that their current
iteration did not grow from a rich history of education experience and passion,
but simply from a desire to maximize profit by exploiting a segment of a market
that was limited until education became a viable business proposition in the
late 1990s. Even their own description of their beginnings from their website
notes their late entry into education:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in 0.1pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">“Pearson’s roots are grounded in global innovation that transforms
the landscape and stands the test of time. Our London-based company started in
1844 as a construction company building such noteworthy projects as the Sennar
Dam in Egypt and the Manhattan tunnels in NY. We turned to media in the UK in
1921 and diversified into global book publishing in 1971 and education in the
1980s, dabbling in numerous industries along the way.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in 0.1pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in 0.1pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Then, in 1997, everything changed. In a bold and somewhat
controversial move, Marjorie Scardino was hired as one of the first female CEOs
of a major FTSE company. The decision ushered in an even bolder aspiration: <span class="italics">to transform education globally in order to improve people’s lives
through learning.” </span><span class="italics">(<a href="http://www.pearsonk12.com/meetus.html" target="_blank">http://www.pearsonk12.com/meetus.html</a>)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A
company that “dabbles” until it finds a profitable direction is not a company
that is passionate about education. They are passionate about profit, and
“transform[ing] education globally” is not “in order to improve people’s lives
through learning,” but to improve the bottom line for Pearson’s board and
stockholders. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The
only real indictment of the Common Core in this picture is that it has enabled
Pearson to streamline their products by giving them a single set of standards
to use as their alignment tools, rather than producing multiple products that
respond to different standards in different states, which has facilitated this
corporate approach to education. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">So,
what to do the next time your kid brings home that mountain of homework that
doesn’t make sense to you? After you take a deep breath, ask the teacher what
curriculum package her/his school is using, and whether he/she has much input
into its implementation. There’s a good chance that your child’s teacher is as
frustrated and disempowered as you, and an equally good chance that Pearson is
somewhere in the picture. Then ask the school administration why they chose
that curriculum, and ask for the research that supports their approach. If the
school doesn’t use a scripted curriculum, then ask the teacher the reasoning
behind the assigning of a heavy homework load, and be prepared to challenge
that reasoning by familiarizing yourself with the work of Alfie Kohn <a href="http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/hwach.htm" target="_blank">here</a>, or the position
taken on Great Schools.org <a href="http://www.greatschools.org/students/homework-help/1938-what-research-says-about-homework.gs?page=2" target="_blank">here</a>,
which notes that, “In fact, for elementary school-age children, there is no
measureable academic advantage to homework.” (You can also point out that a
Canadian couple successfully sued to have their children exempted from all
homework, arguing that there is no compelling evidence that homework helps learning,
as explained in <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/nov/18/canada-homework-milley" target="_blank">this article</a>.)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But
bashing the Common Core? That’s not going to help. And it only serves to divert
attention away from the profit-monster that is driving corporate U.S. education
policy. And no, I’m not a raging-socialist-anti-capitalist-commie who is
suggesting that companies shouldn’t make a profit. I’m just an experienced,
informed, concerned educator (and parent) who believes that they shouldn’t do
it by turning children into manufactured products of an educational machine.
Call me crazy....</span></span><br />
<br /></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-59017024085444635892014-09-15T14:49:00.002-07:002014-09-15T15:03:25.998-07:00Kid Considerations: Starting Over<style>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Starting Over—Taking My Own
Advice</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Two of my earlier blog
posts focus on helping children with separation anxiety and with the transition
from preschool to kindergarten (“Lift and Separate: Separation Anxiety in Young
Children”; and “</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Movin’ On Up: Transitioning
to Kindergarten, with Tips for Easing Anxiety,” both from May 19). It has been
a while since I have managed any new blog posts, and the reason for that is
also the reason that I realized I needed to revisit those earlier posts and
heed my own words.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">After a career spanning 36 years as a preschool teacher and
administrator, I recently closed the preschool program that I founded 28 years
ago. This was a difficult decision to make, but it was the right one. As I sent
off my final group of kids to the adventure of kindergarten, I immersed myself
in the process of sorting, organizing, storing, liquidating, and disposing of
the wealth of materials, supplies, and furnishings that we had accumulated over
those years. This was a huge, daunting task, and one that pretty much consumed
most of my time for over a month, culminating in a public auction that was both
gratifying and difficult. After deciding what to take home (items both
sentimental and practical), what to keep in storage (business records and picture
books), or what I would need to have to continue providing professional
development (teaching materials and, again, picture books), I watched as a
sizable group spent 3 ½ hours on a steamy summer evening scrutinizing,
considering, and bidding on the rest.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When the dust had settled, 90% of what we
had put up was in the hands of others. Many of the bidders that evening were
teachers or program owners/administrators, several were parents or
grandparents, and the rest were mostly people who make a living selling good
quality used toys and materials at flea markets. I was especially pleased to
see so many of our educational materials find their way into the other
preschool and care programs, including the hundreds of picture books that were
still on the shelves.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">As I sit here now, I can imagine the fun and learning
that children are experiencing with the same items that our kids used for so
long, and the separation is a little easier. There have been many times in the
last several weeks when I have stopped to remember the advice I have given to
countless parents when their child is facing a major transition, whether it’s
going to kindergarten, moving to a new house, welcoming a new sibling, or
saying good bye to someone who has passed on. The primary point of that advice
has always been that change in difficult, but it is important to convey to your
child that you believe he/she is strong enough manage that change, and to help
them through it by providing love, support, and, most importantly, as much
consistency as possible.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I am certainly no stranger to change, but this
particular change was one of the more challenging I have confronted. Just as a
child entering kindergarten experiences excitement and uncertainty, sadness and
joy, and fear and hope, I, too, was experiencing many of the same feelings. I
am fortunate to have many wonderful family members and friends to provide the
love and support, but I realized that it would be up to me to provide the
consistency. Since I am not stepping immediately into a full time job at
another location, for me, consistency referred to a few key points: developing
a routine and sticking with it; creating a space at home dedicated to the work
I will be doing (i.e., writing, research, and the creation of professional
development workshops); and being sure to remain mindful of and attentive to my
emotional space.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Now that the school has been closed, the remaining stuff has
been disposed of, given away, or stored, and the keys have been turned in, I am
ready to begin kindergarten again with my eyes and heart open.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span>
</div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-34438971542465652202014-07-21T09:28:00.001-07:002014-07-21T09:28:37.583-07:00Kid Considerations: Children are NOT Collateral Damage
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Children are NOT “Collateral
Damage”</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This
post will be a relatively short one, and a decidedly opinionated one. The
events in Gaza trigger passionate responses on all sides. I’ve tried very hard
to understand and have compassion for the arguments from both the Israeli and
the Palestinian governments and citizens, in both a contemporary as well as an
historical sense. I do not support suicide bombers whose targets are
indiscriminate, even if they are fighting for their homeland, any more than I
support firing rockets at targets that are “supposed” military locations
without 100% confirmation. I support everyone’s right to defend themselves from
military and sectarian violence. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But
here’s the bottom line: There is no excusing the actions of any government or
their military that has resulted in the deaths of hundreds of civilians,
including dozens of children. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I do not support any military action that
considers children to be acceptable “collateral damage.”</i></b> When you
decide that children are expendable, then I don’t care who you are, I don’t
care what your religious beliefs are, I don’t care what has been done to you in
the past, I don’t care about any claims about media bias...I care about the
children. And until you stop killing them, you will have no compassion from me.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Parents,
if your child is old enough to understand these news reports and is asking
questions about it, be careful how you explain this to them. Their questions
are likely rooted in fear of losing you, or of a growing understanding of their
own potential mortality. Find the delicate line between recognizing the
realities of the situation and reassuring children that they (and you) are
safe: explaining war to children who have never lived amidst such violence is
challenging, and it is even more challenging to try to explain it to them
without burdening them with the fear and hatred that leads to such violence.
Unfortunately, this is not limited to far away wars in far away countries—sadly,
the children of Chicago are asking these same questions. Wherever you are, name
the violence, understand the violence, and condemn the violence. And hold your
children a little closer.</span></span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-84667871998460772802014-07-06T11:21:00.002-07:002014-07-06T11:21:52.504-07:00Kid Considerations: I'm Leaving Without You<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I’m Leaving Without You”: The
Four Worst Words an Otherwise Loving Parent Can Use</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">During a recent vacation, I was at a bucolic tourist
destination that experiences heavy family attendance during the summer.
Throughout the day, I heard numerous examples of the usual parental commands
and pleas that are a natural part of family travel, such as “We’re leaving
NOW!”; “Put that down and come here!”; “No, we’re not staying a few more
minutes”; “I know I said you could play on that before we leave, but someone
else is there and we’re not waiting....”; etc. I also heard more than a couple
of times the four most devastating and potentially damaging words a parent (or
grandparent) can use: “If you don’t come right now, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m leaving without you!</i>”</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As a parent, I have traveled with a young child, and I know
how challenging it can be when the day is long, the environment is stimulating,
and the temperature is punishing. And I know the feeling of impatience and
frustration even in a non-vacation daily routine when I recognized that we had
to be somewhere, and needed to leave <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">now</i>
to get there on time, but my daughter didn’t share my imperative to get a move
on. And I’ve experienced the aggravation of wanting to pick up my child at the
end of a long, tiring day (for both of us) and get home, while she was not
quite ready to separate from her friends.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No matter how irritated, stressed, or annoyed I became, I
never ever <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i> once threatened to
leave her behind. And our program staff know, if they hear a parent make such a
statement at pickup time, that they are to immediately intervene, assuring the
child that her/his parent is NOT going to leave them behind. Even if doing so
makes a parent angry, it is important that the children in our care feel safe,
loved, respected, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wanted</i>—four
things that parents should be doing in their interactions as well.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">There are two main reasons that making this threat is not
just poor parenting, but has potentially serious long term consequences as
well:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the time a
child is 4 or 5 years old, he/she will have figured out that you are lying.
Once that happens, you have, perhaps irrevocably, shattered their trust in you.
You have given them every reason to question everything you tell them. And if
they can’t trust you to be honest, they will have trouble trusting you to look
out for them. They will also have learned that lying is a perfectly acceptable
tactic to get what you want.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2. And most importantly of all: Even more than betraying
their trust, threatening to leave manipulates one of the most primal fears a
child can have—the fear of abandonment. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And
that’s why parents do it—because it works.</i> If children didn’t harbor a
fundamental fear of losing their parents and family, they wouldn’t care. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
reason it works is exactly the reason you should never do it. Ever.</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So what do you do when you need/want to leave and your child
doesn’t? First of all, establish a pattern early on of never making a promise
OR propose a consequence unless you can and WILL follow through. If you create
a firm foundation of reasonable expectations and mutual trust, then you won’t
need to manipulate fears with lies and threats to get a child to behave. Once
you have established this pattern, understand that young children simply don’t
experience time with the same sense of purpose that adults do, but there are things you can do to help with the process: </span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Make sure you
have explained clearly to your child <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">why</i>
it is important to leave at a particular time; </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Whenever possible, tell your
child at least 5 or 10 minutes before it is time to leave that they will need
to stop what they are doing, and how long they have left; </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Remind your child
what the expected behavior will be when it is time to go (e.g., “when it’s time
to go, you need to stop what you’re doing and come along without an argument”); </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Validate your child’s feelings about leaving while reinforcing the actions that
you will take (“I know you are having fun and are disappointed/angry/sad that
we have to leave, but that doesn’t change the fact that we will be leaving in
five minutes”); </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And when it is time to leave, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">leave</i>,</b> even if it means struggling
to stay calm while you pick up your screaming child and carrying her/him out
the door. Even if you are in a public place, if you allow your child’s tantrums
to delay your departure (in other words, if you give in and stay longer because
you are afraid of being embarrassed by her/his behavior), then he/she will
learn that tantrums work. </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Be firm. Be fair. Be calm. Be loving. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Be honest</i>.</span><br />
<br />
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-9997085638313886912014-06-12T09:04:00.000-07:002014-06-12T09:04:37.339-07:00Kid Smiles: Melon Did It<style>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Smiles: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Melon Did It: Imaginary Friends, Stories and Lies, and Accepting Responsibility</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I
knew a three-year old girl who, any time she did something she wasn’t supposed
to (which was fairly often), would announce, “Melon did it!” Melon, of course,
was her imaginary friend. Sometimes Melon was a good companion, engaging in
thoughtful conversation, but, most often, Melon was the scapegoat. Melon didn’t
seem to mind much.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I
also remember a four-year old boy who once broke something on the playground.
Even though he was the only one in the area, and despite the fact that a
teacher had actually seen him break the toy, when I asked him why he did that,
he said, “because....wait, I didn’t do it...” When I asked him who did do it,
he looked around, then innocently said, “how about Colby?” Now, ordinarily,
Colby would have been a viable suspect, but on this day, he wasn’t even at
school, giving him a solid alibi.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<br /></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Both
of these memories make me smile. They are also both really good examples of the
way preschoolers will naturally try to negotiate the truth. It’s not
pathological lying (yet), it’s simply coming to a developmentally appropriate
understanding of the relationship between reality and fantasy. It’s also part
of the process of learning to accept responsibility for our actions and
behaviors.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s
sometimes difficult for adults to figure out how to respond to these narrative
explorations. We want to encourage imagination, and we often are amused by the
clumsy trek through the truth that preschoolers pursue. But while they are on
this journey, it’s important to help them recognize the difference between the
fun and positive use of imagination, and the problematic manipulation of truth
to deflect responsibility or to get what you want. There’s nothing wrong with
naming that difference, and naming it makes it easier for children as young as
three to understand: using imagination to tell stories (or to have imaginary
friends) is fine, as long as the people you’re telling them to know that
they’re stories, but making things up that you know are false and trying to get
others to believe you is lying. It really is that simple (but I’m sure we all
know some grown ups who still struggle with this concept).</span></span></div>
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children lie for a variety of reasons. Probably chief among them is to deny
wrongdoing and get out of trouble (the function of Melon and Colby), but
children will sometimes lie just to see what happens, or to try to reconstruct
their world in ways that make them feel better. An example of the “just to see
what happens” tactic is the little girl who, with somber earnestness, told us
that her mother couldn’t come to pick her up that day because she had been in a bad car
accident and was in the hospital. We were all appropriately concerned and
confused, because we hadn’t heard anything about it, but things were cleared up
when Mom walked in the door that afternoon, safe and sound. When we asked the
girl why she told us that, she said, “I don’t know.” And she didn’t know. She
was trying it out. An example of a child reconstructing the world to make
himself feel better was the little boy who, after having experienced some
meaningful trauma, insisted on calling his adoptive parents “Nala” and
“Mufasa,” and wanted everyone to call him “Simba.” For this young boy, the
simple reality was that, for him at that moment in his life, reality was
challenging, and his healing involved a harmless construction of a world of
strength, perseverance, connection, and heroism to get him through. This lasted
for a couple of months, until we all recognized that reality was once again, for him, a safe place to be. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">If
you value honesty and integrity, then you will help the children in your life
understand why those concepts are important. Adults will often excuse lying as
“harmless fantasy,” or with the belief that children “are just too young to
know any better.” If children are old enough to have the vocabulary to create
stories, they are old enough to begin to understand morality and ethics, and
the difference between lying and storytelling. But the only way they can learn
the social significance of these concepts is if adults take the time to name
the problem, set clear and consistent expectations and consequences, and
explain what the choices are. One of the best books to help children (ages four and up) with this
concept is Evaline Ness’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sam, Bangs, and
Moonshine</i>. This book tells the story of a little girl, Sam, whose elaborate
stories ultimately cause serious injury to her best friend, Thomas, and to her
cat, Bangs. Sam’s stories begin as a way to help her cope with the loss of her
mother, but evolve into an escape from reality that is no longer healthy for
her or for those around her. Her father explains to her the difference between
“real” and “moonshine,” and helps her to accept responsibility for the
consequences of her actions.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And
that really is the point: Sam’s father doesn’t discourage her from telling
stories, but insists that she be clear with others (and with herself) that she
is making it up. Similarly, we welcomed Melon at school, but insisted that she not
be blamed for her friend’s behavior. It was only fair. </span></span></div>
<br />Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-2439996490473329562014-06-11T14:22:00.002-07:002014-06-11T14:22:43.620-07:00Kid Tips: Itching to Know
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Tips: </span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Itching to Know—Being Poison Ivy
Literate </i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS3mqtPnrogDteiheHY__nzuX36DOhXJn6CH0QZWsIcA08WnuXTXyOqYsMseWZp7mPWe9Dr5m3rH43ogUYiuq-yGmIZm3z52WiFCOkCA_mlgcKQ72eL1FsltqSzlfmicDftw2uPcYSo8o/s1600/poisonivy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS3mqtPnrogDteiheHY__nzuX36DOhXJn6CH0QZWsIcA08WnuXTXyOqYsMseWZp7mPWe9Dr5m3rH43ogUYiuq-yGmIZm3z52WiFCOkCA_mlgcKQ72eL1FsltqSzlfmicDftw2uPcYSo8o/s1600/poisonivy.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I
know, I know...so far, all of my posts have been about behavioral issues, or
developmental considerations, or thoughtful reflections on cultural issues and
influences...so what’s with the poison ivy?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Well,
it’s almost summer here in the Midwest, and summer means poison ivy, and poison
ivy means misinformation, myth, and misery for 70-75% of the population,
including kids. This is one of those topics that I have learned a LOT about
through painful necessity. I first had a serious poison ivy reaction when I was
five years old, which landed me in the hospital for nearly a week with a solid
mass of blistering pustules covering my entire thigh. As a teenager, I was
bedridden for several days after I had been at a friend’s house where they were
burning brush that included poison ivy, and the aerosolized oil basically
coated my head, neck, arms, and hands—my eyes were swollen shut, my upper lip
was about three times its normal size, my ears stuck out from the layers of
rash behind them, and I couldn’t use my hands normally because of the huge
blisters in between my fingers. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">My
apologies for the graphic description, but the point is...I know what I’m
talking about. When parents come to me with concerns that their child got
poison ivy from our back yard, I reassure them that we are VERY careful about
making sure we clear any poison ivy from the fence line, and then I fill them
in on what they will need to know for the rest of their child’s life, since poison
ivy allergies persist (and sometimes get worse) over time. I am not a physician
or a botanist, but here is what I have learned through my experiences over the
last 50 years (if anyone has any further information, or if you believe
anything I have said below is incorrect, please let me know—I do not claim to
have all the answers):</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">ASSUMPTION #1: YOU CAN
SPREAD POISON IVY BY SCRATCHING</span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">. Partly true, but misleading. The rash is caused by
your body’s histamine reaction to the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">oil</i>
that is part of the plant. This oil is known as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">urushiol</i>, and is contained not only in poison ivy, but also in
poison oak, poison sumac, and in smaller amounts in other plants such as mango
trees, pistachio trees, cashew shells, and gingko biloba. Once the oil contacts
the outer skin layer, your body begins to react. For people with serious
sensitivities (like, for example, me), that reaction can be almost immediate
when the urushiol density is significant. If your immune system triggers
itching before you have removed the oil, the action of scratching MAY spread
the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">oil</i> over a larger area. Once you
have washed off the oil, however, you cannot spread it anymore simply by
scratching. Most importantly, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you CAN NOT spread poison ivy by scratching
open the blisters, and no one else can “catch” poison ivy from coming into
contact with the fluid in the blisters</i></b>. The fluid that forms inside the
blisters is NOT urushiol—it is the fluid that is naturally produced by your
body as part of the histamine reaction. The main danger of scratching is not
spreading the allergic reaction, but causing a bacterial infection. As the
blisters open and release their fluid, make sure you keep the area clean and
covered to prevent infection.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">ASSUMPTION #2: YOU CAN’T
WASH AWAY THE OIL</span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">. False. If you know you have contacted poison ivy, you must thoroughly
wash away the urushiol as soon as possible, before it bonds with the skin layer
(within 10 minutes or so). This can be accomplished with commercial products
(such as Ivy Dry or Zanfel, which can also be used after the urushiol has
bonded), or with COOL/COLD water and soap or common household detergents that
are good at breaking up oil (such as many dish detergents or, my favorite soap
for this purpose, Fels-Naptha, a bar soap that can also be used as a laundry
detergent to remove the oil from clothing—be aware, however, that, since it is very,
very good at breaking up oil, it should probably not be used for routine
bathing, as it will strip your skin of beneficial, natural oils as well). <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">DO
NOT shower or wash with hot or very warm water</i></b>, as this will open the
pores and make it easier for the oil to penetrate, and can actually spread the
rash by making the oil flow easier.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">ASSUMPTION #3: IF I DON’T
TOUCH IT, I WON’T GET IT</span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">. False. Big false. In fact, in many cases, initial or subsequent
reactions are not from the plant itself, but from pets or clothing that have
the oil on them. We had a student several years ago whose parents were
convinced that he was repeatedly getting poison ivy at school, because they had
not been in ivy-infested areas for several weeks, but their son kept getting
new rashes. After some questioning, we realized that, several weeks prior (when
he got the first exposure), it had been in an area with lots of poison ivy, and
that, since the initial contact, they had not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">washed his shoes</i>. He had walked through the field with the poison
ivy, and since they hadn’t washed his shoes, he kept re-contacting the oil
every time he put on his shoes. If you have been exposed, make sure you not
only wash yourself, but also be careful to launder <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all</i> of your outer clothing, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">including
your shoes and jackets</i>, with a detergent that will break up oil. If you
can’t launder an item (like hiking boots, for example), clean them as
thoroughly as you can, then wash your hands immediately after you put them on,
or just don’t wear them for several weeks (though urushiol can remain viable
for several months, so exercise caution and continue to wash your hands).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Similarly,
if you take your dog for walks in the woods or fields, or if your dogs or cats
have access to areas where there may be poison ivy, be aware that they can
carry the oil on their fur. If you or someone in your family is allergic, be
sure to give your dog a bath when you return from your walk, and keep your yard
clear of poison ivy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">ASSUMPTION #4: THE BEST
TREATMENT FOR POISON IVY IS CALAMINE LOTION</span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">. Hmmm....maybe. Calamine lotion, or other
topical lotions and creams, can help relive the itching for minor reactions,
but if the reaction is moderate or severe, topicals will not be very effective.
In extreme cases, you may need to see a doctor for a prednisone injection to
combat the inflammation and help prevent scarring. For moderate cases, the
thing to keep in mind is that you want to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dry
the rash</i>, which will help to alleviate symptoms. There are a variety of
astringent products that can help with this process. My favorite is a powder
called Domeboro solution, which you use by mixing with cool water, then soaking
a washcloth or gauze compress with the solution and applying the compress to
the rash for 10-20 minutes, several times a day. Not only does this help to dry
out the histamine fluids (which is what causes the itching), the cool compress
also soothes the skin and helps make it less miserable. Taking antihistamines
may help a little, but will be limited in their effectiveness. Whatever
approach you take, it generally takes a week or two for the reaction to fully
run its course and for the rash to disappear (it may take longer with severe
cases).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">ASSUMPTION #5: YOU CAN ONLY
GET POISON IVY IN THE SUMMER</span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">. Definitely false. In fact, poison ivy can be most
potent in the spring, when the plant is coming out of winter dormancy and the
oil is dense and active (think of the way the “sap rises” in maple trees in the
early spring—same idea). Summer drought and heat can “dry up” the vines to a
certain extent, though the oil will still be present. However, even when the
plant is “dormant” (during the winter in cold climates), the oil can still be
present in sufficient quantity to cause a reaction. If you’re one of the 70%
that reacts to urushiol, don’t think you can yank the vines out in the winter
without getting a rash. It may be less potent, but it can still be enough to
cause a rash.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">ASSUMPTION #6: IF I’M NOT
ALLERGIC TO IT NOW, I WILL NEVER BE</span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">. Dangerously false. As with any other allergy,
repeated exposure, or natural changes to body chemistry over time can lead to
new allergies. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">ASSUMPTION #7: ANY PLANT
WITH THREE LEAVES IS POISON IVY</span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">. Frustratingly false. There are many plants that
resemble poison ivy, such as maple tree saplings, catalpa tree saplings,
Virginia creeper, box elder, pepper vine, etc. This link provides a lot of
photos of poison ivy and various “impostors”: <a href="http://poisonivy.aesir.com/view/picqna.html">http://poisonivy.aesir.com/view/picqna.html</a>.
Identifying poison ivy can be confusing, but here are some things to remember:</span></span></div>
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</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Poison ivy is a vine, not a tree. It rarely grows straight and tall by
itself. It prefers to be anchored to another tree, a rock face, or a wall for
support, but can also grow without support, looking more like a bush or ground
cover.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The vine is woody (and sometimes “fuzzy”) on mature plants anchored to
trees, but can be smooth and red or green on new growth.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The leaves can be toothed or smooth, but are not usually lobed.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The leaves are reddish in the spring, green in the summer, and can be
various shades of orange, yellow, red, or brown in the fall and winter.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The center leaf usually is larger than the two side leaves, and the
center leaf almost always grows from a small stem that grows from the end of
the vine, whereas the side leaves grow directly from the vine itself, without a
separate stem.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Bottom
line: if it has three leaves and you’re not sure what it is, don’t touch it.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">So,
keep your eyes open, stock up on soap, and good luck!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-29337069531390086362014-06-10T10:13:00.000-07:002014-06-10T10:13:38.755-07:00Kid Considerations: Did I Say That?
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Did I Say That? Being a Role
Model, Whether You Like it or Not</i></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I
recently saw a video that had gone viral, in which a white woman launches into
a vitriolic, racist rant aimed at an African-American man who may or may not
have said something that upset her. Besides the horrid nature of her words, equally
disturbing was the casual demeanor of her two young children, who were hanging
around in the background, acting as though this was business as usual for a day
out with mom. Watching them, you might have thought she was simply chatting
with a neighbor.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This
reminded me of another incident with a child in my class a few years ago. This
child was almost four, his social-emotional maturity was delayed, and had a
behavioral issue that he sometimes expressed through intentional toileting “accidents.”
One day, when he had wet his pants, we went into the bathroom, and I made sure
he had a change of clothes and a plastic bag to put his wet clothes in. I then
told him to change his clothes, something that he was perfectly capable of
doing himself, but on this day, he wanted the attention of having someone else
do it for him. When I declined and turned to leave him to his task, I heard him
mutter, “f---ing b---h.” Since I wasn’t a hundred percent sure I heard him
right, I turned around and calmly said, “what did you say?” He looked at me
and, matter-of-factly, repeated it. I looked him in the eye and said, “you
know, we don’t call people names here, and I expect that you won’t call me or
anyone else that again. OK?” He said “okay...”, then proceeded to change his
clothes. He seemed a little confused that my reaction wasn’t stronger. When his
mother came to pick him up, I told her what he had said, and suggested that she
and her husband might want to be a little more careful about the language they
use around their son. I also explained to her that he used it perfectly
appropriately in relation to the context in which he had learned it. What he
had learned listening to his parents was that, if you are a boy and you are mad
at a girl, you call her that. He was mad at me, so that’s what he called me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">By
the time most children are two years old, their receptive language (the
vocabulary that they are able to understand when they hear it) far exceeds
their expressive language (the words they are actually able to produce). Even
though we don’t hear young children immediately repeating words we use, rest
assured they are acquiring them. By the time they are three, they begin to
develop a clear understanding of the emotional context in which language is
used, and will begin to experiment with using the vocabulary they have been
building in what they think are socially appropriate ways. In other words, if
they hear words used in anger at home, they will use those same words in anger
in other social situations.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And
those children in that parking lot in the video? Even though they didn’t seem
to be listening intently, you can bet that they were hearing every word, the
same way that they had heard every word every other time their mother reacted
to some social slight. But instead of just picking up profanity, they were
picking up something much more devastating: specific hatred directed at someone
because of his skin color. The woman’s insistence that she’s “not a racist” is
meaningless when she uses the language she was throwing about so comfortably,
and that’s what her children will take away. Not just her words, but also her
attitude and her actions.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And
THAT’S the other side of the language coin. Children learn not only words, they
also learn attitudes and actions from the significant adults with whom they
interact. If they see and hear violence, they learn violence; if they see and
hear compassion, they learn compassion; if they see and hear hatred and
intolerance and fear, they learn hatred, intolerance, and fear.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">One
of the most difficult social equations to navigate with young children is the
expression of emotion that is honest, yet developmentally appropriate. As much
as I feel pain when I witness examples such as the woman in the parking lot, I
also cringe when I see a teacher who is constantly bubbly and never expresses
frustration or anger. If children learn their emotional responses from adults,
how can we expect them to learn appropriate reactions if they never see us
model them? Calm discussion and gentle demeanor is important to model, but if
children who are making hurtful or disrespectful choices never see a teacher
express aggravation or negativity in an acceptable way, they will never learn
those acceptable reactions. Children hear and learn words, but they observe and
practice actions as well, and need to be able to connect those words and those
actions with specific emotional contexts.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">When
that young boy called me that name, I was sad for him, not particularly angry,
and I think that is what disrupted his expectation. I would guess that, at
home, when his father called his mother that, she responded in kind. When I
responded more calmly, and stated firmly that the problematic part of his
behavior wasn’t the specific words, but was the fact that he was using
name-calling to be hurtful, it re-framed his emotional context for that
interaction. Had he persisted in this behavior, he would have seen me express
my frustration with his continued hurtful choice, the same way that he had seen
me express my impatience with his toileting defiance, or my anger with his occasional
physical aggression. In these interactions, “frustration,” “impatience,” and
“anger” as I modeled them were firm, fair, and reasoned responses. I never
yelled, I never called him names, I never responded physically...I named my
emotions, I explained the reason for them, and I demonstrated rational,
constructive reactions for each. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The
takeaway? Whatever age your children are, remember that they are listening,
watching, and learning from what they see and hear you do. A little modeling
goes a long way.</span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-6373144979208163102014-06-02T07:39:00.000-07:002014-06-02T07:39:46.805-07:00Kid Considerations: Bang Bang
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bang Bang, You're Dead</i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">For
several years, I have been adamantly opposed to allowing “gun play” in our
program. The kids know that our most important rule is that it is unacceptable
to hurt others, whether it’s on purpose or because you’re being careless, and
that guns hurt. I know that a lot people disagree with me on this point, which
is the advantage of being the owner—I get to set the policy on this one.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Parents
and staff know this rule as well, but we occasionally still get someone arguing
that things like squirt guns are okay, because they “just squirt water.” There
are many things that squirt water and aren’t shaped like a weapon. In addition,
I am not telling anyone what choices they should make at home. Not the point.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The
point is that, for the kids in our program, there is at least one place in the
world where, for part of their day, they have to think beyond “bang bang,
you’re dead.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">When
we first instituted our “no gun play” policy, it was before the Columbine
shootings changed the landscape. Since then, I am increasingly convinced that
our policy is one small step in the right direction. This isn’t about “taking
away all the guns” or “attacking the second amendment” either—this is about
helping young children develop a sense of social interaction and emotional
expression that doesn’t default to violence as a means of getting attention or delivering
retribution.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">There
is one common element that the overwhelming majority of mass shootings share,
whether they take place at home, in school, in the workplace, or at a randomly
chosen public location, and whether they get lots of media attention or are not
reported beyond a local market. That one common element is that the shooter was
male. Between 1999 and 2013, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every</i>
mass shooting in the United States was committed by a man (source: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/mass-shootings-central-american-history-article-1.1457514</i>).
But the culprit isn’t the genetics of maleness, it’s the conflation in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">our</i> culture of masculinity with
violence, especially gun violence. And calling out that relationship is not an
attack on men, or even on guns per se, but is an insistence that we critically
examine all of the influences that contribute to a gun violence rate that is
higher in the U.S. than in any other developed country.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">One
disturbingly blatant example of this mentality is an ad for the Bushmaster, a
.223-caliber rifle that is a semiautomatic version of an assault rifle used by
the U.S. military. It is also the weapon used to murder 27 people at Sandy Hook
Elementary School in 2012. This is the ad:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTEUQAm7QC_apBRCFsgQQvp-F1BLq-9hX9uymNe0WIAy-KvokDP2-J19Inl2nBbZ_9X14RJmzVP-CSjJT7TOU4giSu8Lu9UMr3nGKMl6b6YWiOoiOIrL5poeB79lvM5FvKNCx5mKBkYA4/s1600/mancardgun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTEUQAm7QC_apBRCFsgQQvp-F1BLq-9hX9uymNe0WIAy-KvokDP2-J19Inl2nBbZ_9X14RJmzVP-CSjJT7TOU4giSu8Lu9UMr3nGKMl6b6YWiOoiOIrL5poeB79lvM5FvKNCx5mKBkYA4/s1600/mancardgun.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Of
course, there is satire here, there is an attempt at humor on the Bushmaster
website, but the ad itself, and the marketing campaign, point to that deeply
rooted equation of masculinity for U.S. boys and men—the message that “being a
man” = “being tough” = “being violent,” and that challenging that equation even
in a small way automatically emasculates men.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The
conflation of behavior, guns, and violence begins innocently enough for many, by
misunderstanding how young children interpret reality. There have been dozens
of incidents in the last few years of young children (mostly boys) shooting
friends, siblings, even parents or other adults (such as this incident in April
of 2013: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/04/09/child-shooting-deputy-wife/2066289/;
or this one from 2012: http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/story/20270020/toddler-shot-killed-by-child-under-5-in-minneapolis).
These incidents are not about children expressing anger—they are horrible,
tragic accidents that happen because <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">young children cannot reliably discern
between toy guns and real weapons</i></b>. They happened because these children
picked up a gun, thinking it was a toy. Of course they can tell that a plastic,
neon purple squirt gun is not a “real” gun with bullets, but they can’t extend
that to determine that a handgun or rifle made of metal <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">isn’t a toy</i></b>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But
it is this early experience, this positioning of weapons as “toys” and violence
as “play” that has serious implications for young boys who grow up with the
cultural acceptance of guns as everyday objects. It also has serious
implications for young girls, who are learning that male violence, whether
directed toward other men or toward women, will be waved off under the excuse
that “boys will be boys.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Yes,
I know, if this were true, then wouldn’t all boys become killers? Of course
not—there are many other factors that influence how a child incorporates
cultural messages into behaviors. Factors such as media exposure, domestic
violence, parental attitudes towards guns and violence, peer interactions,
personality traits, etc. all contribute to the ultimate relationship that
children develop with violence in general, and guns in particular. And this is
the point of our “no gun play” policy—that in this place, in this time, we are
committed to making sure <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">our</i>
influence is one that compels children to find other alternatives. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-41551336751437653682014-05-26T10:11:00.000-07:002014-05-26T10:11:37.410-07:00Kid Smiles: Pick Up Your Feet
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Smiles: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pick Up Your Feet</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Several
years ago, I was teaching in an open classroom that had a painted plywood floor
with area rugs. One day, one of our three year olds came in with a new pair of
cowboy boots. He loved his new boots. Unfortunately, the rigid sole of the
boots, coupled with his developing gross motor skills and his apparent joy at
hearing the noise he made when he walked, made every step he took sound like a
herd of horses clomping in unison, reverberating throughout the entire room. In
other words....loud. Really loud. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">One
of my coworkers had asked him several times to please try to walk a little
softer, but that is almost impossible when you’re three years old and your
shoes don’t let your foot bend. Finally, my coworker had heard the last clomp
she could bear, and said (gently and with humor, by the way), “oh for Pete’s
sake, would you please pick up your feet?!?” My favorite part of this story is
the little boy’s response: with a look of perfect bewilderment on his face,
looking straight at my coworker, he reached down, raised one foot, and tried to
“pick up his feet.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Besides
the fact that this still makes me smile every time I think about it (and every
time I see the young man who is now in his 30s...not sure if he still wears
cowboy boots....), there is another part of this story that has an important
point (and speaks to one of my teacher/parent pet peeves): the shoes we put on
kids’ feet, and why it matters.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">There
are two very good reasons that young kids need good shoes, especially when they
are at school or on the playground. 1) Their feet are growing and they need
arch support to make sure their foot structure is forming correctly; 2) Their
gross motor skills are developing, and they need to have the combination of
flexibility and support to facilitate that development. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Footwear
that is developmentally appropriate for preschool children will have these
important features:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Flexible,
yet sturdy, sole.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Good
arch support.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Good
fit that keeps the shoe securely on the foot.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Tread
pattern that helps the child to keep from slipping.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Footwear
that meets these criteria includes tennis shoes, sandals with contoured soles
and straps that fit behind the heel, “hiking” boots/shoes, etc. Footwear to be
avoided for active play includes cowboy boots (unless they have a flexible sole
and a good tread pattern), flip flops, “Crocs” or other clog-type shoes that
fall off easily, flat sandals<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that
have no arch support, etc.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This
doesn’t mean that children should never wear things such as flip flops or
Crocs, but the suggestion is that you differentiate between “house” shoes and
“active shoes.” One way to determine whether a shoe is helpful or restrictive
is to watch your child run—if he/she hesitates, or is tripping/falling
frequently, the shoe may not be secure on her/his foot; if he/she is running
“flat footed,” the shoes may not have enough flexibility in the sole; if your
child is slipping on grass, wet pavement, or smooth floors, it may be that
there is no tread pattern on the bottom of the sole.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">What
about going barefoot? Great idea!....at home, or on the beach. And once a
child’s foot “architecture” is well formed, there will still be plenty of time
for flip flops and cowboy boots. It’s not being mean to make sure your child’s
feet are developing with strength and support, any more than it’s mean to
expect them to eat healthy food and limit their intake of ice cream or cookies.
Think of the flip flops as an occasional treat, and the tennis shoes or sturdy
sandals as “foot nutrition.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And,
oh yeah...we asked the three year old’s parent to save the cowboy boots for
home. He did just fine in his tennis shoes, and we were all happier with the
softer-soled “thud” instead of the herd of horses.</span></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-74901296519708321462014-05-23T10:23:00.001-07:002014-05-23T10:29:54.768-07:00Kid Considerations: The "Underground Economy" of Child Care and Why We Should All Care About Quality<style>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Considerations: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The “Underground Economy” of
Child Care and Why We Should All Care About Quality</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Early
childhood education and care has always been, in a sense, the “canary in the
coal mine” when it comes to local, state, and national economies. When parents
are unemployed, they don’t need supervisory care, and they can’t afford
preschool. When parents are under-employed (i.e., part time or in low-wage
jobs), they may need the care, they may want the educational experience, but
they can’t fit it into their budget. And when state legislators (as happened in
Ohio recently), reduce support for child care subsidy programs by reducing
compensation rates to providers and lowering the maximum income levels for
families to qualify for assistance, it becomes even more challenging for high
quality care programs to thrive.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
sure everyone agrees that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">high quality</i>
is an important aspect of early education and care settings, but there is not
universal agreement about how to define that. Some folks believe that teachers
must have degrees and/or certifications, while others would argue that pieces
of paper and letters after your name mostly reflect that you managed to pay for
higher education (but doesn’t guarantee how competent you actually are—you can
graduate with a low “C” average, after all). Some suggest that large quantities
of high-tech toys in a high-tech building with pretty furniture indicates a
high level of quality, but others value smaller spaces that exude warmth and
charm and have a modest (though ample) number of simpler, age appropriate
materials. Some assert that quality depends on intentional instruction of basic
skills that prepare children for kindergarten, whereas others emphasize
learning through play with no specific instruction at all (and many will
integrate both into a balanced approach).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Over
the years, I have become convinced that quality is not dependent solely on
philosophy, curriculum approach, credentials, or furniture, but can be boiled
down to two primary criteria that can apply to private center based programs,
publicly funded programs, and home care providers:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">1.
A physical environment that is safe and appropriately equipped and furnished.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">2.
Teachers/Caregivers who consider themselves to be professionals engaged in a
career.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s
that second point (and the way it influences the first point) that is the focus
of this post. “Educarers” (i.e., caregivers who educate) who recognize the
seriousness of their work and its importance in the growth of young children
will understand that there is always more to learn about the field, and will
actively pursue ongoing professional development, and will apply what they
learn to their interactions with children and the safety of their surroundings.
The problem is that, in a depressed economy, we see a substantial increase in
licensed programs cutting corners, as well as a proliferation of home care
providers (mostly unlicensed) who see child care as an unskilled job that
anyone can do just to make some money. It is these types of providers that proliferate
and thrive in an “underground economy” of poorly regulated care situations.
There are certainly a far greater number of dedicated professionals (both
center and home based) than there are sub-standard programs and home care
“child hoarders,” but the “face” of early childhood care and education that is
presented in the media is dominated by the horror stories, and no child should
ever have to spend so much time with adults who don’t care about quality.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Complicating
efforts to improve quality and encourage providers to follow basic safety rules
is an overburdened regulatory system that is underfunded, understaffed, and
overburdened. In these circumstances, the “underground economy” does not have
to operate in the shadows, because the only time they come under scrutiny or
are subject to sanction is when someone complains to the regulatory agencies
(or when a tragedy happens). This quote from an online discussion group
typifies the attitude that contributes to this problem:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“At least in [city name removed], no.... one.... cares. I
know that's bad to say, but literally, EVERYONE seems to be confused about the
official, correct rules. Person after person after person has some different
spin on what they think the ratios are supposed to be, and NO ONE follows up to
enforce it. Now I don't mean go crazy and be a kid hoarder, and please don't think I'm some
ridiculous person either, but I just mean if you're out of ratio here or there,
it's really not a big deal.”</span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></i></span></span><br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It
is a big deal. Or should be. The ratios in the licensing laws in Ohio (where
this post originated) are clearly stated. And there are definitely people,
including professionals, licensing specialists, and parents, who do care.
However, many parents either don’t know when a provider is violating the law,
or choose to look the other way because the underground provider charges less
than the licensed provider or center based program, and the parent’s options
are limited. Meanwhile, home care providers and programs that “play by the rules” and are
committed to maintaining high standards of quality wind up struggling to fill
spaces, because it is hard to compete in such a context.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">So,
what can we do to allow for a variety of options, while maintaining quality
care and education for all young children? Here are some suggestions:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">If you are a parent looking
for care for your child, make sure that the provider you choose takes the job
seriously. There are obvious signs, such as the TV on all the time, or a dirty
or dangerous environment, but also look for the subtle signs: Is the space the
children use shared by other family members while the children are present? Is
there a sufficient number of toys and learning materials readily available? Can
you see children’s artwork on the walls? Is the provider certified in first
aid? Ask the provider if she takes advantage of professional development
opportunities to learn more about child development. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Become familiar with the
regulatory laws in your state and locality. For example, in Ohio, if a provider
has 6 or fewer children (including her own) in her home, she does not have to
be licensed unless she wants to accept the state subsidy (but she also can not
have more than 3 children under the age of 2 in that group). If a provider is
caring for more than 6 children (including her own) in her own home, she is
required to be licensed as a Type A Home Care Provider AND to have another
adult helping any time there are more than 6 in attendance. If she is caring
for children in a rented or borrowed space, or has more than 12 children on the
premises at one time, she MUST be licensed as a Child Care Center. If you know
of a provider who is in violation of these ratios, contact the licensing agency
(in Ohio, it is the nearest regional office of the Ohio Department of Job and
Family Services). If they have a report, they can investigate.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">If your home care provider
offers high quality care, but is in violation of ratios or other regulations,
encourage her take responsibility for her commitment as a dedicated
professional and get licensed. If she declines, place your child with a
provider who is willing to “talk the talk AND walk the walk.”</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Contact your local, state,
and national representatives and encourage them to prioritize funding for early
education and care that is appropriately (not overly) regulated and accessible
to all families.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">If you are a home care
provider, demonstrate your commitment to quality by pursuing ongoing
professional development and operating within the law.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">If you are employed in a
center-based program, make sure your program owner/administrator facilitates
high-quality practices that go beyond minimum standards for safety and
learning. If not, suggest changes that can be made, or contact your licensing
agency.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Young children deserve the best that we can give them, and we all have
to accept responsibility for ensuring that all early education and care
situations are safe, loving, and professional.</span></span>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-81996191043381030202014-05-19T09:24:00.001-07:002014-05-19T09:24:10.203-07:00Kid Tips: Something You Can Sink Your Teeth Into--Understanding Why Toddlers Bite
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Tips:</span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<h1>
Something You Can Sink Your Teeth Into—understanding why toddlers bite,
with tips for redirecting behavior and learning healthy communication<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">When my daughter was a toddler, her teacher told us
of an incident in the classroom one day. All five children in the group, ages
18 months-2 1/2 years, had lined up a row of chairs side by side, with each
child occupying one chair. They were playing quite nicely and calmly, when, for
no discernible reason, the child at one end of the row bit my daughter, who was
in the second chair, on the arm. My daughter then turned and bit the child in
the third chair, who bit the child in the fourth, who bit the child in the
fifth, who turned, then, seeing no one else to bite, began to cry. This entire
sequence of events took a matter of seconds, quickly enough that, by the time
the teacher realized what was happening, they had already passed the bite down
the line. When the teacher told us this story, she was a little concerned that
we would be worried or upset that our child had been bitten (and was biting).
On the contrary, we were rather amused by the incident (since no skin was
broken or bruises were left), and it has become a favorite example for me about
the nature of biting in young children.</span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The overwhelming majority of biting incidents in
toddlers is a reflection of a perfectly normal, albeit painful, developmental
progression. Children who have not yet developed sufficient language skills to
express their feelings and desires will find other outlets, and for many
children, this outlet will be with their teeth (though not all children
bite—some will become vocally very expressive, even if it is not possible to
understand what they are saying, while others may use tantrums). Young children
are still generally orally focused, as their mouths are the source of the
pleasure of food combined with the pain of teething. If we understand it as a
normal developmental pattern, it is easier to calmly strategize ways to address
the behavior.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">If you
have the opportunity to observe your child in a group setting, notice the
circumstances of any biting incidents you may see. Does the biting seem to be
connected to a particular emotional state, such as anger or frustration, or
does it occur over a range of conditions?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One young child in my care was an avid biter, but very rarely bit in
anger or aggression. One of his frequent “targets” was another little boy who
was one of his favorite playmates. Every time this playmate arrived, the child
would run up to him, give him an excited hug, then bite him on the shoulder.
His joy at seeing his friend was so profound that he had no other way to
express his intense pleasure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The
disciplinary response needs to be immediate, but measured and calm. Remove the
child from the immediate situation, provide a simple, firm explanation that
biting is not acceptable, then suggest and demonstrate a more positive
response. Be sure to communicate with your child’s teacher or caregiver to make
sure you are both responding in a similar manner.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Offer a variety
of textured foods, and notice if the biting subsides or intensifies after
particular types of foods. For example, many children will lessen their biting
response when they are offered a wider variety of “crunchy” foods (such as
carrots or crackers) that enable them to fill a sensory need for intense oral
activity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">One simple
technique that can be very effective is to have available a wash cloth or small
blanket that the child can “chomp” in place of another person’s arm. Pacifiers
are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> good for this purpose, as
they encourage sucking, not teething, and can seriously inhibit the development
of language skills that will ultimately make biting unnecessary.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Be aware,
however, that if biting behavior continues after your child has developed a
sufficient vocabulary, this may be a sign of a more significant behavioral
issue or physical problem. In either case, consult with your pediatrician or
teacher/caregiver for advice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Above all, the
encouragement of language development is crucial to giving your child the tools
he/she needs to find a means of expression that is satisfying <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> safe. </span>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-34906800048958184352014-05-19T09:23:00.001-07:002014-05-19T09:24:22.538-07:00Kid Tips: Lift and Separate--Separation Anxiety in Young Children<style>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Tips:</span></b></div>
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<h1>
Lift and Separate—separation anxiety in young children at different levels
of emotional development, with tips for easing the trauma for children and
parents<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">One of the
most common scenarios repeated daily in early childhood care settings is the
sight of a crying toddler clinging to an anxious parent, trying to keep dad or
mom from leaving her/him behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In the vast majority of these cases, the tantrum quickly subsides once
the parent has been able to extricate her/himself and drive away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when parents know this to be the
case, these interactions can be exhausting and stressful for both parent and
child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Secure
attachment between a parent and child is a fundamental emotional building block
for healthy psycho-social development.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A secure attachment is exactly that—a bond that is never questioned and
always present.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s more than
unconditional love—for a child, it’s the safety of knowing that there is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">always</i> a caring adult who will protect
you, and for the adult, it’s the assurance that your child trusts you and can
count on you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">With so
much riding on this essential connection, separation anxiety in varying degrees
is an unavoidable, necessary, and generally predictable response, though the
timing, intensity, and duration of separation responses is based on
circumstance, experience, and personality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of these factors are critical to take into account
anytime your child enters a new situation, or experiences a change in her/his
physical, emotional, or contextual space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We tend to think of separation anxiety as something that is experienced
almost exclusively by very young children when they enter a new care situation,
but, in fact, separation anxiety can be a result of many different types of
changes, including:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Physical, emotional, or cognitive “growth spurts.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt list 1.0in left 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Significant changes in routine or place, including
extended vacations or change in residence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Changes in family dynamics or composition, including
death of a family member, even if that person has not been a significant daily
presence in the child’s life, but is mourned by the child’s parent(s).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Friends who have moved, loss of a pet, or change in
caregiver.</span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">All of
these, and other, events and experiences, can create a dynamic of uncertainty
that, for children, can prompt a need for the reassurance of attachment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though it may not seem like
“separation” behavior, responses in such situations may be rooted in the basic
human need for the certainty of connection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps, rather than “separation” anxiety, it would be more
helpful to think of it as “alteration” anxiety.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Sometimes,
separation responses are delayed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For example, many children experience separation anxiety immediately
upon entering a new care situation, while others may be enveloped by the
initial excitement, and not develop the separation response until the
excitement has “worn off.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
particularly true for older children, who are better able to anticipate events
and verbalize that anticipation, but then react with anxiety when that
anticipation is no longer present.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For most situations of separation anxiety, regardless of the age of the
child or the circumstance of the response, there are two main things to keep in
mind when helping the child work through these difficulties:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">LISTEN, WATCH, AND REASSURE: Separation responses are
not always characterized by clinging and tantrums.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Watch for any type of regressive behavior, such as toileting
problems, uncharacteristically finicky eating, sleep disturbances, helplessness,
etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is important to recognize
these behaviors and respond compassionately without inadvertently reinforcing
their continuation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">BE CONSISTENT:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Especially in terms of discipline, it is reassuring for children to know
that, even if other things have changed in their environment or routine, the
reasonable expectations for their behavior have not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Indulging negative behavior can actually do more harm than
good, since it may signal to the child that there is even more uncertainty than
he/she had thought.</span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">With
patience, consistency, and connection, separation (or alteration) responses can
be emotionally positive growing experiences, for both child <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> parent.</span></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754471212907860289.post-58338720239573664162014-05-19T09:18:00.002-07:002014-05-19T09:24:35.331-07:00Kid Tips: Movin' On Up--Transitioning to Kindergarten<style>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Chalkboard; font-size: 28.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Kid Tips:</span></b></div>
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<h1>
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Movin’ On Up:
Transitioning to Kindergarten, with Tips for Easing Anxiety</span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">As we near the end of another school year, many
parents are concerned with helping their children prepare for the transition to
kindergarten in the fall. For some children, the anxiety of entering
kindergarten is matched by the anxiety of leaving the surroundings in which
he/she has been nurtured and cared for, especially if it is a situation that
has been a consistent one for the child for a long period.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Children form meaningful attachments
with caregivers, teachers, and friends, and the awareness that those
attachments will be disrupted can produce increased anxiety, even when it is
mixed with excitement and anticipation about starting the adventure that is
kindergarten.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are some tips
to help make that transition as smooth as possible.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">If your
child is currently in preschool or center-based care, be sure to have a
conference with the teacher to get a clear picture of your child’s
developmental capabilities and needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Being ready for kindergarten isn’t just about knowing letters and
numbers, but is also about social and emotional development.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know your child better than anyone,
but your child’s teacher or caregiver has particular insight regarding her/his
social interactions and emotional maturity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Children often behave differently when parents are not
around, usually displaying more maturity, sometimes less—either way, the
teacher/caregiver can give you a richer picture of your child’s behavior when
independent of the family.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">You can
help your child with the separation anxiety by remembering that children at
this age are developing an increasing level of emotional awareness, but still
don’t usually have the emotional “vocabulary” to express those feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is very common for children in this
situation to begin exhibiting regressive behaviors—temper tantrums, toileting
accidents, increased “clinginess,” for example—that are all perfectly normal
and can be seen as healthy attempts at releasing or dealing with the
uncertainty of change and the sadness of separation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It is
important to empathize with your child’s anxiety, but also to remain <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">consistent</i> in terms of behavior
management and expectations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your
child may be testing you to make sure that, as so many things around her/him
are changing, your presence and support are constant and dependable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Extra hugging, talking, and playful
interactions are reassuring, but increased leniency with unacceptable behaviors
can actually create more anxiety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is important during this time that discipline continues to be firm,
loving, and predictable.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 45.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">One of the
behaviors that sometimes baffles parents the most is when a child who has
always eagerly left for daycare or preschool suddenly begins complaining that
they “don’t like school” or “don’t want to go.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is often a response not to unhappiness with the school,
but to the unhappiness about leaving a situation that is a positive, nurturing
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, consistency is the
key—keep attendance consistent, while talking with your child about the
feelings he/she is experiencing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If your child’s friends at daycare are not going to be attending the
same kindergarten, consider the possibility of arranging play dates to help maintain
those friendships that are important.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="tab-stops: 45.0pt 76.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">With
compassion, reassurance, and consistency, your child’s transition to
kindergarten can be an exciting and positive one for the entire family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Dr. Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15104552254768771217noreply@blogger.com0